Feeling a little down?!?!?

23 years ago today I lost my dad to cancer. It was a horrible battle for him, yet he lost his life in the process of fighting for it.
He died when I was 12, being 35 has not eased the pain of his death. The pain from losing him will not ever heal. Days, months and years go by, yet the hurt you feel for the loss of parent or child still haunts you like it did that very day.
I want to tell you a little about my dad. I want to carry his memory to everyone till I take my last breath and meet him at the cross roads. Then hopefully, my kids and grand kids will carry this out for us.
My dad died of colon cancer at the age of 51. We had a good size family, my 4 brothers and me being the only girl. We had a simple life, really not demanding all the gadgets lie had to offer, we were fine with our life and spending time as a family. He, my dad, Raymond Richard Stanley, was my dad, my hero.. he was the love of my life, he was my everything. he still is.
I am just so sad, he never was able to see Nick and I graduate, i didn't have a dad to walk me down the isle when I was married. I never had a dad to screen my boyfriends, to make sure his lil girl was in safe hands. My brother Nick never had any kids, but has a great wife. My kids will not ever be able to meet their grand dad. Its just not fair to have to grow up without your parents... Its just not fair...
I miss you so much daddy! I love you with all I am. I wish you never died.....
It never gets easier... you just go one with your day and do your best to be strong.

I wrote this poem when I was 12. It is published and a copy right.

WHY MY DADDY?
I WAS DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL, HIS SHINY WHITE PEARL.
HE WAS JUST AN OLD FARMER, BUT HE WAS MY KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR
ONE DAY I SAW HIM CRYING, THAT IS THE DAY I FOUND OUT MY DADDY WAS DYING
ONE YEAR LATER MY DADDY PASSED AWAY...
THE ONLY THING I CAN SAY IS ,
WHY?
WHY DID MY DADDY HAVE TO DIE?

Yes after 23 years, it still hurts as if it happened today..
Take care Dear World, and remind those you love. YOU LOVE THEM! Say it till you can no longer mutter those words from your mouth. Cause tomorrow may not ever come!